First off, I want to say congratulations to Jason Collins. I can't even imagine what it feels like to hide who you really are for such a long time. When I read another article on him today that talked about how he was a month away from marrying his fiance before he called it off, I tried to picture what he went through during that time. I couldn't. All I could think about was him going back in forth in his mind trying to convince himself that this was the best thing to do; to marry someone you love dearly, knowing the possibility of breaking their heart after the wedding at some point in time was real. Option 1, do it now to avoid worse emotional scarring later. Option 2, see if you can live this lie for the rest of your life. That has got to be the ultimate Catch-22.
When I first heard the news that he decided to come out, my first though was "Ok, so he's gay. No big deal". But then I realized this wasn't the same thing as when Brittney Griner acknowledged her sexuality. That was no surprise to anyone, even though her acknowledgement was just as courageous. Brittney was taking her "role model" status by the reigns early in her career so that other girls who may admire her for being who she is would see that it was ok for them to do the same. Jason Collins, on the other hand, is something totally different. He and his situation shouldn't be.
Men's sports in America is deeply rooted in the male ego. Manliness, toughness and other somewhat chauvinistic descriptions shape the sports and their athletes. If a guy gets into a skirmish and backs down, he's labeled soft instead of smart. If he shows the wrong kind of emotions (crying, for example, in any situation other than winning), his toughness is questioned. So the idea of a gay male athlete carries the stigma of being soft, womanly even. What it also carries is the real possibility of being ostracized by the same teammates who, maybe just a few days ago, treated you like family.
Jason Collins is gay. But he's so not gay, at least when it comes to what society dictates a gay man to be. As an NBA player, he was rough around the edges, good for a elbow in the ribs as he fought for rebounds. During his younger years, he was instrumental in giving teams like the forner New Jersey Nets a defensive identity. He was sort of a throwback to the days of the enforcer type guys who took it as there job to knock an opposing player on their ass if they came in the paint. Some people called him soft, even some players. But once they challenged him near the rim, they found out soon enough that he wasn't. Usually, it was while they were looking up at him from the floor.
So for Jason Collins, a fringe player at best with no offensive skill set to make any player or coach nervous, his "coming out" is probably the most attention he's ever received during his 12 year NBA career. That has been a sore point for some who feel like he's just grabbing for attention. People ask, "Why did he feel like he had to be the one to do it first?" I saw one comment to where a person said he was using the "gay angle" as an excuse so that if he wasn't picked up by a team next year, he'd have something to blame it on other than the fact that teams may not want a 34 year old center who can't score like a young Shaq. It's like he's damned because he came out and he's damned because he came out.
What I find really interesting is no one seems to mind when women athletes and celebrities come out of the closet. Male celebrities who are not athletes seem to get kind of a pass, too. But the whole idea of a male athlete in American sports seems to have spawned this witch hunt of sorts. As much as society seems to feel we're not ready for it, we've been clamoring for it, wondering if it's going to be the guy who just scored 30 points and wears the nerdy glasses and weird shirts to the post game news conference. Is it going to be the guy who just threw for 5 touchdowns and seems to have the best head of hair in the world. Is it the guys who feasts on quarterbacks like a lion hunting gazelle in the jungle but just seems too clean cut for some reason. When we got what we were looking for, it wasn't what we were looking for. Jason Collins wasn't supposed to be first. But he is. Why? Because no one else was ready to carry that cross. Who knows? It may take another 10 years for someone else to build up the courage to be the second male gay athlete in American sports and come out. And you know what? It may be another guy just like Jason Collins.
Chris Broussard, a columnist and analyst for ESPN found himself in a bit of hot water because of his defense of some who do not support Collins' coming out. Broussard said as a Christian, he looked at homosexuality as a sin, just as he saw heterosexual sex outside of marriage as a sin as well. While saying that Collins was indeed courageous for his act, he said that the Christian athletes would definitely have an issue with Collins. Even though I do believe that every person is entitled to his/ her own opinion, I find the "Christian" argument to be just another cop out. Your faith dictates what you do but true Christian faith (and pretty much any faith) also reminds one to not judge others, to not condemn anyone for no one is without sin. The same Christians who condemn gay and lesbians for their lifestyle should really look deep within themselves. You don't have to agree with a person to accept them as a human being, regardless of who they are attracted to and what they do in in their private life.
Other comments have been of the macho ignorant sort. Larry Johnson, a former Knick who still holds a position with the team, said that if he were still playing he'd have a problem with playing with an openly gay teammate. The argument is still the "uncomfortable" one. Funny things is, each athlete who says they would be uncomfortable playing with another player who is gay has already done it. How many former teammates who have played with Collins felt that way? And all of them were just fine because they were ignorant to the truth that only Jason knew. So much for that argument. It's not about the gay teammate, it's about all the other straight ones.
In the end, Jason Collins is now a pioneer, whether other people agree with his lifestyle or not. It's not fair that a gay or lesbian person has to "come out", especially when it can have a negative impact on what they do to earn a living. That's why Jason and Brittney and Sheryl Swoopes and countless others who have taken the step to say "This is who I am" should be able to do so, or not do so, without the rest of us having something to say about it. But of course, we'll have something to say, either negative or positive. And even though we all have the right to say and do whatever it is that we want, so does Jason Collins and those who may be waiting to do the same thing he did but fearing the backlash. A supportive as a lot of people have been, those who have been critical have attacked his integrity and questioned his motives. All because Jason Collins was tired of living a lie. I wish that that we, as people were better than that.
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