When I was in my late teens, I had a dream of being a rapper. I never thought I would become famous, but I did fantasize about two of my childhood friends and I recording an album and playing in a couple of small clubs in Queens, NY. I think, for maybe a summer, I really felt like I had the potential to be successful based only on my writing ability and my flow. I had a lot of work to do as far as creativity, more use of metaphors and I really needed to work on my freestyling. As I continued to work at getting better something happened that changed everything, and it still has a huge effect on me to this day.
Someone told me I couldn't do it.
To be honest, there were hundreds of good reasons why anyone who knew me then might have felt like Jason Franklin being a rapper was an extremely far fetched idea. Hip-Hop in the late 90's in New York was nothing like it is now. Most of the well know successful rappers were street guys and, while I did grow up in South Jamaica, Queens, I was far from a street guy. I was also a baptized Jehovah's Witness. There were no gritty tales of 'hood living in any of my lyrics, even though I lived in the same area that gave rise to some of the greatest rappers that have ever touched a mic. South Jamaica was a rough part of town, but my parents (and my, then, religious affiliation) kept me outside from all of the influences that inspired Hip-Hop back then. However, none of those reasons were behind why the person who told me I couldn't do it felt that way. And, being that it came from a girl that I was dating (and yes, trying to impress), it hit me like a ton of bricks. She simply said: "You're just not talented enough."
I was stunned. I thought I was good, really good. I thought she thought I was good. I thought she would push me, support me, be there with me when I signed my deal, when I bought my first brand new car, house, etc. I had seen all of this in my head, had talked with my boys about it, had written and rapped about it. And now my inspiration, my muse (at the time) was telling me she didn't believe in my abilities, that I didn't have what it took to rap, let alone be successful at it. I don't know if she saw it but at that exact moment, everything within me shattered. I didn't know it at the time but, everything about who I was began to fracture at that point as well. My relationship with the girl would soon be over along with the one I had with one of my best friends (1+1+1-1=?). Shortly after that I fell out with my religion. My parents left New York and moved to South Carolina while I tried to stay afloat on my own for as long as I could. I never thought about leaving New York and I kept writing, filling multiple books with rhymes, songs, poems and short stories. I started working on a novel. I felt the need to get back with the Jehovah's Witnesses, mainly because I missed my friends and family that I couldn't associate with if I wasn't in good standing. But it didn't fit who I was becoming.
I later left New York to stay with my parents for what was never supposed to be a permanent move. I had this chip on my shoulder that came through in some of the songs I had begun to formulate and soon, my desire to record them started to come out. I sought out some local producers who'd be willing to work with me on what was essentially a $0 budget. Soon enough I came across a local collective of producers and a local MC/ spoken word artist who had heard me perform at an open mic. They asked if I was interested in working with them on some music (OF COURSE I WAS!!!!!) and seeing where we could take it. Long story short, I ended up becoming a part of their collective, recorded a full length mixtape with them and eventually a solo project. From there, I honed my writing skills and evolved into a spoken word artist, self published my first book Soul Therapy: a collection of works inspired by the life of Max Lit (which you can purchase here) and I am working on starting my own publishing company.
Remember that chip on my shoulder that I mentioned earlier? It pushed me to keep writing and to pursue recording my music. When I left New York, I was angry at the way I had lost those relationships with the girl and my friend. Everything that I did was motivated by, not just the anger I felt but by fear as well. Fear of what?
The fear that maybe the girl was right!!!!!
Like I said at the beginning of this post, I never thought I was going to be a famous rapper. I know now, almost 20 years later, that I didn't even want to be anyone famous. I wanted to record my music, make an album and share my work with anyone who would listen. I had a lot to say. But I remember, while spending late nights recording and maybe drinking way too much, the fear of what was said to me always being in the back of my mind. And every time a new song was recorded and mixed down, her words would reverberate in my head. "You can't do it, you're not talented enough." I found myself editing my work and rewriting songs because I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, that I was a talented enough writer. Meanwhile, doors were opening up that I didn't even know about and the Universe was conspiring to help me see what my true purpose was.
Ok, so why tell you that long ass story? Well, if for no other reason, to explain the concept of being afraid that what negative people tell you about your goals and aspirations is true. More often than not, the person(s) who tells you that you can't do something isn't an expert in the field you are pursuing. Other times, they are people who haven't accomplished anything at all. They are usually people who may have dreams and aspirations, too, but they've either let the fear of can't keep them from reaching their goals or they've given up on them for any number of reason. Some still have no aspirations at all and are comfortable with going through the motions of life, while others have actually let people convince them that they can't do what they have set out to do. These individuals, or anyone else for that matter, telling YOU that you can't reach YOUR goals isn't them giving you constructive criticism. This isn't them having your best interests at heart, or trying to help you understand your limitations. This is them not wanting to see you succeed! This is them not thinking you can succeed. This is them having not believed in themselves enough to feel like they could have succeeded. This is them accepting mediocrity for themselves.
THIS IS NOT YOU!!!!!
Our goals and aspirations may not work out exactly the way we start out wanting them to. I started out wanting to be a rapper, which led me to exploring the world of spoken word and poetry. Now I can say I am a published author with the know how and means to further the goal of making a living as a writer. If I had listened to the girl who told me that I wasn't talented enough to be a rapper, the journey that has brought me to this point would have been halted right there. Who knows what I would be doing at this point. All I know is, my life would be totally different and I don't think I would be as fulfilled as I am now. Sure, I have much more work to do. But as each day passes, the point of me reaching my ultimate goal draws closer and closer. I just have to keep going.
AND SO DO YOU!
So, yes, let people tell you that you can't do it. There will be times when you may wonder, to yourself and out load, if those people are right, That's perfectly alright. But never let fear keep you from pushing on, from proving those who don't believe in you wrong. Use it as motivation, use it as the reason why you can't give up. Don't do it just to prove them wrong though. Do it to prove to yourself that you can reach the goals you have set. Do it so that when you look back, you can see everything that you've accomplished in spite of those who doubted you. It most definitely won't be easy, but I promise you, it will be worth it.
Do it because it is what you were meant to do!
Tuesday, February 20, 2018
Sunday, February 4, 2018
My Thoughts after MLK Day, during Black History Month and on Super Bowl Sunday
(This blog was started the day after MLK Day...sorry for the delay...)
Peace and blessings to you all!
It has been a while since my last blog post, but there has not been a shortage of things to talk about. Ironically, with the birthday of one of the most recognized civil rights icons in American history being recently celebrated, I felt moved to share my thoughts.
It has not been a coincidence that, even with everything that has happened regarding the state of our country and Donald Trump being president, I haven't had much to say in my blog posts recently. I mean, what can be said that isn't already being said everyday by anyone who can speak, type, write, use sign language, etc? I find myself saying, multiple times, almost everyday that I can't believe he's actually the president. That's not naivete. It's actual disbelief. With all the talk of Barack Obama being a relative political newcomer, it's baffling to try and comprehend how, not a person like Trump could get elected but how TRUMP actually got elected. With every new scandal, every new allegation, resignation of a top official, outlandish remark, late night tweet, etc., I shake my head. I can't help but wonder what the reaction would have been if Obama acted as Trump is now. I am pretty certain there would have been some politicians trying to change some laws so that he could immediately be removed from office. Hell, they were trying to do that anyway and there wasn't anything like what we see going on now happening with him.
It speaks to where we are as a nation. It speaks to why Obama was "allowed" to be President. It speaks to why Martin Luther King Jr. was shot down and killed in Memphis, Tennessee on April 4th 1968. A man who preached non-violence and spoke of love and peace. An imperfect man, yes, but nonetheless a man of conviction; a man willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for the betterment of those during his time and for those who would follow.
Martin Luther King wanted to make the world a better place. That was his dream, a dream he never got to see. I can't help but reference the Boondocks episode that depicted a world in which King was still alive. I tend to think that if he was able to continue on with what he started, if other Black leaders and activists weren't killed for fighting for what they believed was right, then this world would be very different. I've mentioned in previous blog posts that I feel like the progress we have made in this country is less about equality and more about necessity. Or even inevitability. We don't live in a perfect society but I feel like the level of oppression that minorities still experience today is directly related to the white supremacist construct that, obviously, isn't going anywhere. It was designed to be permanent, to withstand any attempts to break it down. Martin Luther King Jr. was killed by that construct, not just at the hands of James Earl Ray. The number of unarmed Black men and women who have been killed by police and other non-minority citizens, with little to no accountability for the officers or people involved, are victims of that construct. Donald Trump becoming president is a direct result of that construct. The rules that are keeping him in office are in place due to the design of the construct. Martin Luther King's Jr.'s dream was to see that construct no longer be what shapes our nation. As we can see today, it not only shapes our nation, it is what some people feel makes our nation great.
Inclusion. Equality. Tolerance. Basic human compassion and decency. These are the things that currently are being deemed as unnecessary "political correctness". These are the ideals that people like Trump and his supporters feel are tearing apart the fabric of "this once great country". Trump's executive action to repeal pretty much all of the Obama era legislation is just him pandering to those who voted for him. The ironic thing is most of Trumps supporters, poor white Americans, are being adversely affected by these moves. But yet, they still support him, even though he has shown that he is not fit to lead this country. He never was. But the construct was built so that someone like him could take the highest seat in the country and affect laws that benefit him and those like him, the wealthy and elite. It's always going to be that way. It has to for this construct to survive.
As a Black American, I want to see a day when Dr. King's dream actually comes true. A large part of me doesn't see that as a reality. We live in a world where our differences make us who we are, for bad and for worse. The optimist in me would like to think there can be this one uniting event that can bring us to see the human in each other and help eradicate the hate that still exists in our society. But the realist in me is finishing this blog at the beginning of February, a month that is considered Black History Month but is also the shortest month of the year. I can't help but see the irony in that. Ican't help but see the irony in the fact that right after our first Black president spent 8 years in the White House, Donald Trump took his place. It feels like it was intentionally done to "right the ship" as it were, to do what seemed to be right and progressive just to turn around and go back to how things were, "how things are supposed to be".
I look at all the Black icons of our past, those here now and look forward to watching a generation of new icons take their rightful places in American history and I wonder: When will the dream be fulfilled? As I type these words, completing them on Super Bowl Sunday, I think about how Janet Jackson has been the scapegoat of that infamous "wardrobe malfunction" while the person who performed with her, Justin Timberlake, will be performing again during this year's halftime show. I think about how Colin Kaepernick, who once took a team to the Super Bowl, has essentially been blacklisted for his silent and peaceful protests against police brutality because he chose to kneel during the National Anthem. I think about the lengths that Donald Trump has gone to in his efforts to vilify those who chose to follow Kaepernick's lead, even making a tongue in cheek "warning" to players thinking about kneeling during the Super Bowl. I look at how the numbers of those deciding to kneel waned after Trump's "son's of bitches" comment toward protestors and I think about Dr. King's dream. I think about our history as Black people in this country and can't help but feel like the dream that King talked about will always give way to the nightmare that was his and still is our reality today.
So what can we do? I feel like it is important for us to use whatever avenues/ platforms that we have to speak out against the injustices that we see happening around us. One's form of activism isn't necessarily the cup of tea for another. We may not all agree on boycotting Netflix or not watching NFL games and the Super Bowl but we should respect each other's right to choose whatever way they decide to show their activism. Something could look small to one person but it could have a tremendous effect on those who choose that route. Others may feel more useful organizing or attending rallies and peaceful protests. Some may choose to use their art or other talents to express themselves and their displeasure with the current social climate that we find ourselves in. Whatever avenues we choose, the important thing is that we make the decision to act and then do. Support others that are using their platforms as often and as much as you can. Show the unity that we want to see in our society amongst those who share your our views and goals. And, above all else, don't forget the dreams of those that sacrificed their lives so that we could push their work forward and finish what they all started. If we can do that, we might make Dr. King's dream come true after all.
Peace and blessings to you all!
It has been a while since my last blog post, but there has not been a shortage of things to talk about. Ironically, with the birthday of one of the most recognized civil rights icons in American history being recently celebrated, I felt moved to share my thoughts.
It has not been a coincidence that, even with everything that has happened regarding the state of our country and Donald Trump being president, I haven't had much to say in my blog posts recently. I mean, what can be said that isn't already being said everyday by anyone who can speak, type, write, use sign language, etc? I find myself saying, multiple times, almost everyday that I can't believe he's actually the president. That's not naivete. It's actual disbelief. With all the talk of Barack Obama being a relative political newcomer, it's baffling to try and comprehend how, not a person like Trump could get elected but how TRUMP actually got elected. With every new scandal, every new allegation, resignation of a top official, outlandish remark, late night tweet, etc., I shake my head. I can't help but wonder what the reaction would have been if Obama acted as Trump is now. I am pretty certain there would have been some politicians trying to change some laws so that he could immediately be removed from office. Hell, they were trying to do that anyway and there wasn't anything like what we see going on now happening with him.
It speaks to where we are as a nation. It speaks to why Obama was "allowed" to be President. It speaks to why Martin Luther King Jr. was shot down and killed in Memphis, Tennessee on April 4th 1968. A man who preached non-violence and spoke of love and peace. An imperfect man, yes, but nonetheless a man of conviction; a man willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for the betterment of those during his time and for those who would follow.
Martin Luther King wanted to make the world a better place. That was his dream, a dream he never got to see. I can't help but reference the Boondocks episode that depicted a world in which King was still alive. I tend to think that if he was able to continue on with what he started, if other Black leaders and activists weren't killed for fighting for what they believed was right, then this world would be very different. I've mentioned in previous blog posts that I feel like the progress we have made in this country is less about equality and more about necessity. Or even inevitability. We don't live in a perfect society but I feel like the level of oppression that minorities still experience today is directly related to the white supremacist construct that, obviously, isn't going anywhere. It was designed to be permanent, to withstand any attempts to break it down. Martin Luther King Jr. was killed by that construct, not just at the hands of James Earl Ray. The number of unarmed Black men and women who have been killed by police and other non-minority citizens, with little to no accountability for the officers or people involved, are victims of that construct. Donald Trump becoming president is a direct result of that construct. The rules that are keeping him in office are in place due to the design of the construct. Martin Luther King's Jr.'s dream was to see that construct no longer be what shapes our nation. As we can see today, it not only shapes our nation, it is what some people feel makes our nation great.
Inclusion. Equality. Tolerance. Basic human compassion and decency. These are the things that currently are being deemed as unnecessary "political correctness". These are the ideals that people like Trump and his supporters feel are tearing apart the fabric of "this once great country". Trump's executive action to repeal pretty much all of the Obama era legislation is just him pandering to those who voted for him. The ironic thing is most of Trumps supporters, poor white Americans, are being adversely affected by these moves. But yet, they still support him, even though he has shown that he is not fit to lead this country. He never was. But the construct was built so that someone like him could take the highest seat in the country and affect laws that benefit him and those like him, the wealthy and elite. It's always going to be that way. It has to for this construct to survive.
As a Black American, I want to see a day when Dr. King's dream actually comes true. A large part of me doesn't see that as a reality. We live in a world where our differences make us who we are, for bad and for worse. The optimist in me would like to think there can be this one uniting event that can bring us to see the human in each other and help eradicate the hate that still exists in our society. But the realist in me is finishing this blog at the beginning of February, a month that is considered Black History Month but is also the shortest month of the year. I can't help but see the irony in that. Ican't help but see the irony in the fact that right after our first Black president spent 8 years in the White House, Donald Trump took his place. It feels like it was intentionally done to "right the ship" as it were, to do what seemed to be right and progressive just to turn around and go back to how things were, "how things are supposed to be".
I look at all the Black icons of our past, those here now and look forward to watching a generation of new icons take their rightful places in American history and I wonder: When will the dream be fulfilled? As I type these words, completing them on Super Bowl Sunday, I think about how Janet Jackson has been the scapegoat of that infamous "wardrobe malfunction" while the person who performed with her, Justin Timberlake, will be performing again during this year's halftime show. I think about how Colin Kaepernick, who once took a team to the Super Bowl, has essentially been blacklisted for his silent and peaceful protests against police brutality because he chose to kneel during the National Anthem. I think about the lengths that Donald Trump has gone to in his efforts to vilify those who chose to follow Kaepernick's lead, even making a tongue in cheek "warning" to players thinking about kneeling during the Super Bowl. I look at how the numbers of those deciding to kneel waned after Trump's "son's of bitches" comment toward protestors and I think about Dr. King's dream. I think about our history as Black people in this country and can't help but feel like the dream that King talked about will always give way to the nightmare that was his and still is our reality today.
So what can we do? I feel like it is important for us to use whatever avenues/ platforms that we have to speak out against the injustices that we see happening around us. One's form of activism isn't necessarily the cup of tea for another. We may not all agree on boycotting Netflix or not watching NFL games and the Super Bowl but we should respect each other's right to choose whatever way they decide to show their activism. Something could look small to one person but it could have a tremendous effect on those who choose that route. Others may feel more useful organizing or attending rallies and peaceful protests. Some may choose to use their art or other talents to express themselves and their displeasure with the current social climate that we find ourselves in. Whatever avenues we choose, the important thing is that we make the decision to act and then do. Support others that are using their platforms as often and as much as you can. Show the unity that we want to see in our society amongst those who share your our views and goals. And, above all else, don't forget the dreams of those that sacrificed their lives so that we could push their work forward and finish what they all started. If we can do that, we might make Dr. King's dream come true after all.
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