Awkward Moments with People who are "Not Racists"

Over the past few days, I've been gritting my teeth in dealing with a person at work who seems to not understand that some jokes aren't funny. I guess this person has become very familiar with me, maybe too familiar. I tend to be a person who can tolerate a certain amount of ignorance, usually because some of these ignorant folks know when to draw the line (usually when they get the sideways glance or the "that's not funny look"). But some people are just too ignorant to know that they are really that stupid.

I know that we live in a time period where many people claim that we, as Americans are "too sensitive". I don't think it's a coincidence that this time period just happens to be during the tenure of our nations first Black president. While jokes at the expense of political figures and individuals in positions of  authority are nothing new (George W. Bush was the butt of plenty during his time in office), the type of jokes about President Obama seem to not only hinge on people's opinion about him, but heavily on his race. Jokes about his policies hang on race as well. My coworker said to me the morning after a recent state of the union address: "Someone said the only thing that was missing from Obama's speech last night was him asking 'Do you want fries with that?'". I didn't quite get the joke so I asked him to explain. He said: "You know, because everyone who voted for Obama works at McDonald's" (that joke being told to a person who voted for Obama and who obviously does not work for McDonald's).On the surface, this is hardly a racist comment; there are plenty of white Americans that work for McDonald's. But in the context of the joke, you can definitely recognize the intent. And this example is very mild compared to some of the other comments and jokes I'm sure many of us have heard.

Some will say "it's just jokes". I disagree. Many people who either tell these jokes or think these type of jokes are funny shroud their intent with that mantra. Others cry freedom of speech or say that we have the right to express our views even if they are offensive. But when you look at the way indifference towards others is viewed today, these arguments don't stand up in most cases. It is socially unacceptable to call gay people "faggots" when just a few years ago, that word was used freely  and accepted by many. Even saying that a certain action is "gay" is looked upon unfavorably. So is the use the word "retarded" when speaking of people with learning disabilities or in regards to an action viewed as dumb or unintelligent. There has been no national debate on the use of these words or the views that are associated with the people that these words were once used to describe. Jokes about these groups of people are deemed taboo by most. Yet jokes regarding our Black president and those who voted for him, namely minorities, spark debates with those who find them offensive and those who believe America has gotten soft, too sensitive.

A common retort amongst those who find themselves in defense of these jokes or statements is that they're "not racists". The problem here is that you don't have to necessarily be racist to be offensive. One need not be racist to have racist views. If one has the viewpoint that they are free to be offensive if they choose to be, then doesn't the same right exist for those who the one may offend? The climate in this country in recent years has grown, in some areas, to be intolerable to insensitive views and practices. But it seems that the topic of race, since it includes to a very large extent the political climate in this country, gets grouped into the right of Americans to disagree with the government. So all the offensive jokes and comments directed towards president Obama and his administration, which in turn includes all Black Americans, are seemingly disguised under the cloak of discontent. So we end up with discussions that aim to "educate" close minded individuals on "race in America". CNN broadcasts a weeks worth of programming dedicated to understanding what it means to be 'Black in America'. We have profiles on famous Black celebrities, leaders and even ordinary Americans to give insight to those who "may not understand" the everyday experiences of Black citizens in this country. You have Black politicians, Barack Obama included, trying to relate to all Americans without alienating one particular group. You have people being described as "too Black" or "not Black enough". Controversy looms when issues arise concerning civil rights and our Black president may or may not want to speak on the issue. Debates arise over what aresocially accepted terms to refer to Black people as. This in 2013, not 1955 when one shouldn't need 'sensitivity training' to know what to say nor how to act around those who are of a different color, gender or sexual orientation. People shouldn't have trouble differentiating between real life actions of people of any race verses what they may see on television or in the movies. Yet general ignorance is often said to be the cause of situations that come up, like with the Paula Deens and Rick Perrys of the world. Black stereotypes are often the said to be the reason why Black people are depicted and reacted to the way we are. Any exceptions to these are classified as 'out of the norm' or exceptions to the rule when the complete opposite is commonplace more times than not. An explanation of this is not even necessary yet here I am writing about it, again.

So, what does a Black person do in that awkward moment when confronted with a joke or a comment by someone who isn't a racist, but brings an offensive joke or comment to them? In my opinion, since such jokes or comments are commonplace, any reaction will do. Adverse or not, if one is ready to say and/ or do whatever it is that they feel in the name of freedom of speech, they should be ready for whatever response they get. That is, since we live in a free country.