As I try my best to blog more on a regular basis, I've decided to go off the normal topics that I usually cover and talk a little bit about my own personal journey. While I'm not trying to put all my business in the street, I'd like to share just a little bit of my own struggle as I try to become better as a writer and as person.
We all want happiness. A lot of us may equate happiness with being financially secure, while others may look to achieving academic goals and secular goals. Personally, my main goal is to take the gift that I'd like to think I have and be able to pursue becoming an author full time. With that, I have learned quite a bit about myself as a person, one who finds is difficult to focus on these life goals and maneuver through life situations. The older I seem to get (having just celebrated my 36th birthday, aka entering the 36th Chamber), the more I feel like my window of opportunity is closing. I am not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life and some of the life events I thought would have come to fruition by now have either fallen to the wayside or are no longer in my immediate plans. Sometimes, I feel like I am constantly trying to salvage whatever may be left of a particular situation while hardly ever building upon something new. I feel like I haven't grown as a person as much as I should have by now.
Sometimes we allow things, people or circumstances to hinder our growth. An important thing to recognize is that while acknowledging the things, people or circumstances that may be impeding or stunting our personal growth, we can't blame those things, people or circumstances. Sure, they are obstacles and they have to be removed or overcome for us to continue to progress. But the job rests squarely on us to remove or overcome them. Notice, at the beginning of this paragraph I said we allow them to hinder our growth. Some of us find it hard to stay motivated, for whatever reason. Others may allow outside influences to convince them that they can't succeed in the areas they would like to. And, unfortunately, other people can stand in the way of our growth. While there may be some circumstances beyond our control (i.e., health, family obligations, some social and/ or economic issues), often times it is the situations we can control that become bigger obstacles based on the way we let them affect how we move through our life. Acknowledging what these things are can be somewhat of a challenge, but once we recognize them, we have to make a concerted effort to eliminate them. Otherwise, we can find ourselves not making the type of progress we need to make to reach our full potential.
Now, I haven't said anything here that anyone taking the time to read this post doesn't already know. This post is less about dropping some jewels on the reader to think about and more about knowing how important it is for everyone to want to grow. Sometimes we get complacent in our lives and we just become comfortable in whatever situation we may be in simply because it is familiar to us. We may stay at a job that we don't like or that doesn't fit our ambitions for fear of not having a steady income. We may allow family members to discourage us from following our dreams or reaching out for loftier goals for fear of failure and them telling us that they told us it wouldn't work. We may even stay in relationships with friends or otherwise, regardless of how unhealthy or unfruitful they may be, if for no other reason than us not wanting to be alone or not wanting to have to go through meeting a new person. Personally, I feel like this is an area where many of us can find ourselves and end up settling for what some may consider as a "normal life" only because it may seem safe. This is where, I think, recognizing the struggle (and need) of growth and being honest with oneself comes into play.
We often hear people tell others "I know you better than you know yourself". The truth of the matter is, that's probably a huge overstatement more times than it is not. You know yourself better than anyone else, or at least you should by the time you reach a certain age. That being said, you have to be honest with where you are in life in relation to where it is you want to be. Simply put, if you are not where you may have envisioned yourself, then you have to take a close look as to why. I mentioned earlier that it is important to acknowledge that something, someone or some circumstance may be in our way. The word acknowledge means to "accept or admit the existence or truth of." In this case, "the truth of" the matter would be the fact that there is something, someone or some circumstance that is preventing you from growing. Part of being honest with yourself is also accepting that you are, in fact allowing these things to be the obstacles in front of you. Not addressing these obstacles is allowing them to keep you from your growth. At one time I remember saying, in response to the concerns of a loved one who was trying to point out some of my own obstacles to me, that "I don't have time to worry about that". I realize now how foolish that sounded coming out of my mouth. In essence, what I was saying was that I didn't have time to acknowledge the thing(s) that were preventing my personal growth. Even though I was actively pursuing some of my goals, I was trying to push the obstacles along the way, as opposed to pushing them out of the way and moving forward, unimpeded by them. Therefore, I was making an already difficult struggle more difficult because I refused to admit to myself what these things were and what they were actually doing to me. It's hard to make the changes. Things tend to get even harder when one refuses to admit that the need for those changes actually exist. For me, this is a constant struggle as I am now seeing how important my own personal growth is, not just so that I can reach the goals I've set for myself but so that I continue to grow and challenge myself. It has definitely been a struggle and I am sure it will continue to be.
Sometimes things run their course. It may be time for you to change careers because you know you'd be more fulfilled doing something you love instead of doing something that only offers some level of security. Relationships of any sort sometimes get to a point where the parties involved are stuck in neutral, not making any real progress individually and as a couple. Your circumstances may be that you feel like you need to move to a different city or area where more opportunities exist, but you won't know anyone there or you may not want to be very far from your family. Growth often requires some sort of sacrifice and sometimes that sacrifice could just be your level of comfort. In any case, the effort to grow and continue to grow as an individual is by no means easy. The first step, though, is seeing the importance of personal growth. Then, look yourself in the mirror and honestly ask yourself "Am I happy with the person looking back at me?"
Now, I haven't said anything here that anyone taking the time to read this post doesn't already know. This post is less about dropping some jewels on the reader to think about and more about knowing how important it is for everyone to want to grow. Sometimes we get complacent in our lives and we just become comfortable in whatever situation we may be in simply because it is familiar to us. We may stay at a job that we don't like or that doesn't fit our ambitions for fear of not having a steady income. We may allow family members to discourage us from following our dreams or reaching out for loftier goals for fear of failure and them telling us that they told us it wouldn't work. We may even stay in relationships with friends or otherwise, regardless of how unhealthy or unfruitful they may be, if for no other reason than us not wanting to be alone or not wanting to have to go through meeting a new person. Personally, I feel like this is an area where many of us can find ourselves and end up settling for what some may consider as a "normal life" only because it may seem safe. This is where, I think, recognizing the struggle (and need) of growth and being honest with oneself comes into play.
We often hear people tell others "I know you better than you know yourself". The truth of the matter is, that's probably a huge overstatement more times than it is not. You know yourself better than anyone else, or at least you should by the time you reach a certain age. That being said, you have to be honest with where you are in life in relation to where it is you want to be. Simply put, if you are not where you may have envisioned yourself, then you have to take a close look as to why. I mentioned earlier that it is important to acknowledge that something, someone or some circumstance may be in our way. The word acknowledge means to "accept or admit the existence or truth of." In this case, "the truth of" the matter would be the fact that there is something, someone or some circumstance that is preventing you from growing. Part of being honest with yourself is also accepting that you are, in fact allowing these things to be the obstacles in front of you. Not addressing these obstacles is allowing them to keep you from your growth. At one time I remember saying, in response to the concerns of a loved one who was trying to point out some of my own obstacles to me, that "I don't have time to worry about that". I realize now how foolish that sounded coming out of my mouth. In essence, what I was saying was that I didn't have time to acknowledge the thing(s) that were preventing my personal growth. Even though I was actively pursuing some of my goals, I was trying to push the obstacles along the way, as opposed to pushing them out of the way and moving forward, unimpeded by them. Therefore, I was making an already difficult struggle more difficult because I refused to admit to myself what these things were and what they were actually doing to me. It's hard to make the changes. Things tend to get even harder when one refuses to admit that the need for those changes actually exist. For me, this is a constant struggle as I am now seeing how important my own personal growth is, not just so that I can reach the goals I've set for myself but so that I continue to grow and challenge myself. It has definitely been a struggle and I am sure it will continue to be.
Sometimes things run their course. It may be time for you to change careers because you know you'd be more fulfilled doing something you love instead of doing something that only offers some level of security. Relationships of any sort sometimes get to a point where the parties involved are stuck in neutral, not making any real progress individually and as a couple. Your circumstances may be that you feel like you need to move to a different city or area where more opportunities exist, but you won't know anyone there or you may not want to be very far from your family. Growth often requires some sort of sacrifice and sometimes that sacrifice could just be your level of comfort. In any case, the effort to grow and continue to grow as an individual is by no means easy. The first step, though, is seeing the importance of personal growth. Then, look yourself in the mirror and honestly ask yourself "Am I happy with the person looking back at me?"
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